My life, recently.

Thought of You from Ryan J Woodward on Vimeo.

What to do with a girl like me

This is the current background on my computer. I spliced together these spring flower photographs from http://littlestarlingphotography.com/. Lauriann Wakefield is my second cousin, and I LOVE her photographs. Thanks for sharing the joy of spring with me!

In other news, I think I've figured out why it's so hard for me to keep a blog. I have so many thoughts (random ones at that) that I want to share, but I don't trust you world. Yep, I said it. Some of my thoughts are very intimate and I share those with my very closest friends who have proven to be loyal and trustworthy.

I guess I harbor a secret grudge againtst the open masses. haha Perhaps I will get better at sifting through the tender memories and the new experiences like old letters in a shoebox. Slowly, I'll learn to share with you... or maybe not. And let's be truthful, I'm also very busy and forgetful.

But I respect a lot of bloggers for their frankness and admire their fresh take on life. I guess I have to find balance. You see, sharing things that are very superficial just won't do. It's not enough of a reason for me to keep a blog if I'm not passionate about what I share. But I'm not exactly comfortable with laying out all that I hold dear for the world to see, either.

To do list: balance.

So for starters:

1) This week I was fascinated by the snow shadows of cars. I kept see snow by the street in the shape of car outlines, because car shadows kept it from melting. *giggle*

2) I miss my students, my friends, the landscape, and the adventure I left behind in China

3) I really don't miss the deep loneliness I felt in China

4) I loved the book "Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins. I'm about to start the sequel.

5) I wish I could gather all my brothers around me and express how much I love each of them individually, with a depth they probably don't concieve of right now

6) I can't imagine what it would be like to have a sister... and I have a pretty good imagination

7) I miss my friend Kaylee who is newly and happily married... and living in australia.

8) #1 thing I don't trust right now? dating

CHINA AT LAST

I haven't written on this blog in ages but I have something exciting to share with the world! I just got back from teaching English in China less than a month ago and I loved it! I'm now addicted to travel :) I think pictures share some of the greatest insight, so here goes: a small sampling of the ultimate adventure!

Little brothers

So on Easter my cute little brother was going to the Ivins Easter egg hunt with my family, but they got there 2 minutes too late. The Easter egg hunt was over; it was slighty stormy so the egg hunt started right on time. As my family was walking back to the car my little brother looked into his empty bucket and announced (rather forlornly), "All I got in my bucket was rain."

Hahahahahaa. yeah. Sometimes I feel like that too, kid.

Wondering & Wandering

I'm afraid I really don't have much to say, but I wish I did. Lately, life has consisted of trying to keep up with school and surviving till the weekend. My older brother Shane just got married and has moved away from my apartment complex. My boyfriend and I broke up. Life is still pretty good, but I feel a little disconnected from everyone. I need more purpose in my life.

Maybe I just don't like the unknown. I've wanted to teach English in China for a long time now, but I really don't know if it's the right thing for me to leave BYU for 5 months and use what little money I'll hopefully earn this summer in pursuit of that dream. Should I go on mission? Where will I even work this summer? And is it really too much to ask that someone sweep me off my feet, breathless, just for once? Basically I'm in Limbo :)

Anyway, for now I'm trying to dance myself away into better days ~

*Shelley*

winsome

I like the word winsome :) Actually, I like words. A lot (vs. alot). Maybe that's just because I love to read, but words are so expressive! And beyond English words, I'm finding that other languages are starting to intrigue me. For example: chouette. Who knew the French could be so cool?

But back to winsome. Technically it means...

win·some
adjective
from Old English wynsum, from wynn joy

1 : generally pleasing and engaging often because of a childlike charm and innocence
2 : cheerful , lighthearted

I think at times I like to flatter myself and try to use "winsome" to describe my own personality, but truth be told, I probably laugh too loud to be considered so charming :) Strangely enough, it reminds me of the saying "you win some, you lose some." Corny perhaps, but it pops into my head. I guess because that phrase has several applications to my life... just like the word winsome.

So, since this is a blog (in case you were in doubt), and apparently I'm aloud (yes aloud ;) to say whatever I wish here, I can make my silly word jokes, write my dangerous thoughts, and pretend to be *winsome*

Shelley